I sold my home this month. The home where I raised my kids, the only home my youngest son knew with me and the home I had moved into just six months before my separation.
My sons and I spent all of the holidays reminiscing about the times we had there, a trampoline pit that morphed into a fire pit, a back porch that transformed from hosting birthday parties for youngsters to a place of porch gatherings for teenagers just chillin. I remembered all the conversations that were the victims of my eavesdropping. I remembered all the good times and good friends. We sat on the steps our final night and just had a good cry!
The decision to sell the house was purely economic which made it kind of tough! I loved that house! It had grown into a warm, inviting space. During the holidays all my children’s friends passed through fondly enjoying being there for the last time. One even told me my back porch had been one of the spaces he had felt most safe. I remembered the Christmas parties with Santa, the celebratory parties for birthdays, graduations, family celebrations and just all the good times. I looked around at all the renovations that had taken place over the years taking this space from a place where every wall needed to be mudded to the one we enjoyed today where elegant stone work raised by local artists hugged it’s borders caressed by our Christmas snow.
Selling something that you love this much, that holds your history and memories is never easy!
But I spend every day helping folks make reasonable financial decisions, ones that make good sense for their futures but aren’t easy for them either. When I work with divorcing couples the home is one of those difficult decisions. Do we keep it or sell it? If we keep it, who is the fortunate (?) one? Can they afford to keep it? Even if they can is it the best decision for their financial future? How do we equalize things for the spouse leaving the home and how do we help them with the transition.
How does this affect our kids? What do we do to help them with the transition of maybe staying in the home that one of their parents is now leaving or moving themselves to two new and different homes.
These issues each deserve separate attention and over the next few weeks I will discuss them in detail here.
Do I miss my home? You betcha! I’ll probably share that in all this too. Tune in !